My name is Genia, and I was a patient of Dr. Pamela Bell. My young life was characterized by intense pressure and adult responsibilities. I left home shortly before I turned 13 to begin training at a Conservatory. I began living alone and working in the theatre in NYC at 15. Shortly after I finished college, I found myself on 42nd St. in NYC one sunny September morning. I was there; I saw plenty. In the couple of weeks following 9/11, I volunteered, bringing supplies to the workers at ground zero, carrying them into buildings that we were told could collapse at any minute, ministering as best I could to the people working there. It was 6 months later that I fell to my knees in the middle of the street, crying uncontrollably. Around that time, bits of memory started popping up, unbidden: the plates of food at the Javitz center, rotting, because no one was alive to eat.
I am immensely grateful for the time I have been under Dr. Bell’s care. We have worked with both bioenergetics and neurofeedback. I rarely have a morning now when I wake up afraid, wanting to climb under the bed and stay there for the day, hiding from everyone and everything. The insomnia I have had has decreased to a pretty negligible amount and I am not feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed.
Bioenergetics has helped to reconnect me. That certainly begins with my physical body, but it extends beyond that, to the world around me. The amount of tension that has been held in my body is pretty remarkable. With bioenergetics, I felt that beginning to release, affording me more mobility of my limbs, as well as more access to myself. I have begun to learn how to let energy flow through my body, rather than being bound in it. I can imagine a world now in which I don’t keep my mouth shut, enduring but never expressing. I don’t have as many chest pains now, as I used to.
I had a difficult time explaining to people how tired I was, how much effort everything took. Apparently I’m extremely high functioning, so I can look, from the outside, like a very productive person. Only I know the cost, and it had been impossible to try to explain it to anyone; they simply didn’t believe me, as the evidence of their eyes did not match what I was telling them. Dr. Bell was able to literally see what I was talking about, with neurofeedback. After a session, I would feel a turn around, where I was calmer internally, felt more energy and more support physically, and felt like myself again. I have spent an awful lot of time not feeling like myself, It has been so important to have a modality that not only can see what I am talking about, but can help. I can watch my numbers change. For these “invisible” ailments, it has been a blessing to have a treatment protocol that is so practical and effective. I used to run and hide when the doorbell rang. Now, some days I may flinch, but I go and open the door. I am so much calmer. Before I would appear calm; now, I can be calm.
These two modalities, bioenergetics and neurofeedback, have been instrumental in turning my life around. I have tried a lot of things; these are two that worked. My life has changed; my numbers have changed. I know there are very few practitioners out there who know what to do, how to treat to actually bring about improvements in conditions. Most only know how to medicate, which can sometimes hide but never heal. I have a science background; I attended MIT. The empirical evidence is rock solid for bioenergetics and neurofeedback; coming from a place where I doubted my own experience that was reassuring. I really did feel better; I really was coping better. As time has passed, I have seen that more and more in evidence, not only in the numbers, but in my life and my interactions with others. I know there are so many people out there who have PTSD, who are overwhelmed, who are always tired. I hope for each of them, that they can find a Dr. Bell, who can help lead the out of the pit. There is nothing I have come across, in many years of searching that has come anywhere close to being as effective as my treatment with Dr. Bell. When I wake up tomorrow morning, I will not be afraid.